Broken Shield and Sword

I am an wuss.

This entry was due over a month ago, but during that time I never found the time nor the drive to write it. Although my blog was pink, I did not have the time to write about the disease that has taken so many lives, destroyed many more, and yet changed more lives for the better. One month and a job change later, I find myself writing about the Terry Fox run press conference while trying NOT to tear up.

Like many, cancer is not something I take lightly. My aunt died of brain cancer. My mother is in the high-risk category for breast cancer, as she has relatives like our cousins who have been diagnosed with the cancer. Call me silly, but I consider cancer to be one of most insidious afflictions ever to infect mankind. Simply because cancer, unlike AIDS, has no warning. There is no way to prevent it; once you get it, that’s it. Of course, it’s not a death sentence, far from it. But if you should lose the fight….

I remember the passing of Datin Seri Endon from breast cancer last year. I remember the passing of Puan Sri Rosaline (the wife of Tan Sri Dato’ Francis Yeoh, the MD of the company I work for) this year and how it hit Emilie. I remember the disbelief and the near-breaking down in college. I remember my aunt’s passing six years ago. I remember mom going into surgery to remove a suspicious tumour. I remember. Remember this poem by Dylan, and take comfort in it… as I did.

Do not go gently into that good night.

Do not go gently into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words have forked no lightning they
Do not go gently into the good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learned too late they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gently into the good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray,
Do not go gently into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

It’s been a looooooooong time since I felt the need to write to the editor. Even longer since I actually SAT down to do so. The result?

The letter that triggered it off.

My response? Here.

Dear Editor

Words cannot describe how disgusted I was with the letter from Normal Man (Some women do unknowingly invite advances, November 24, 2006). I am both appalled, disturbed, and truly disappointed that in this day and age, there are still many who would choose to blame the victim for the crime instead of the proper person; the perpetrator. From what he says, it looks like at the end of the day, women should be covered up from head to toe and not venture outside their homes so that they will not get raped. At the very least, there should be no sexual content at all in the world we see around us, so that there would be no sexual desire. Is this not childish?

While the writer may be requesting women to cover up so that the men who cannot control themselves will not commit a crime, is this not saying that it’s the woman fault? Is it not saying that it’s the girl who has to take responsibility for the man’s action? (Or vice versa). Might I point out the horrendous rape case of Nurul Huda, who was raped and sodomised even though she was a young child who was covered from head to toe? Might I remind Normal Man too, of the case of Nur Suzaily, who was raped in a bus even though she was covered from head to toe?

The letter written by Normal Man, while commendable for his courage, smacks of sexism and cowardice. No, I do not mean cowardice on the part of the writer, but cowardice that the rapist feels the need to blame someone else when it is entirely his/her fault for losing control. Cowardice that the rapist does not want to take responsibility for his or her actions. His letter also seems to suggest repressing desires. Repression has never been an effective solution. In fact, it is simply sweeping things under the carpet.

Please also note (this is a very radical theory of mine, but I think it may have bearing on this matter). Rape is a crime of power. It is not a sexual crime, it is a crime of power. For the average rapist, they would prefer to rape someone who had low self-esteem and would not fight back rather than someone who looks ahead when she walks, is confident of herself and would fight back tooth, nail and life (if it came to that) to prevent herself from being raped. Notice that a lot of rapes happen to women who are, as society says, decently and modestly dressed?

And yet, some of the most confident people I know are those whom society would say are dressing sexily and “are asking for it.” Yes, they are harrassed on the street sometimes, but no one would dare to lay a finger on them, simply because they ooze confidence. There are many people who feel threatened by such confidence, and seek nothing more than to bring these people down and gloat over it.

Certainly puts a spin on the reason why the enforcement and “moral” officers go after women who dressed provocatively, doesn’t it?

Sincerely,
Geminianeyes

If it can be worded please let me know. But this is how the letter stands as of now.

I AM ALIVE!!

No, am not dead, just been too caught up with work and Nano to do much posting. Writing is generally divided into two sections for me: First part of the day is for work, second is for Nano, so you can see that blogging’s been put on the backburner (which seems to happen every November, no?). Besides that, I’m pretty much fine, looking forward to a much-deserved outing this weekend… Then I’ll be broke till my money comes in on Tuesday afternoon (hopefully).

YA! Things= Hitting 27k for Nano.

Boo= No money

YAWN! = I need more sleep

Things to do:

Meet Zymzy for Lucnht oday or her 21st BDAY!!!

Tutor Luc some more… I think. >

So tired….

I need to work on my stamina. *Collapses*

BCB gave me a free optical mouse for signing up for their Internet banking Services at their Bukit Bintang outlet. It was quite unexpected, and yes, I’m going to use it at home. Alternatively, will also try to see if I can use it in the office.

First day at work was rather interesting. Had a very quick/tour orientation of Starhill, JW Mariott and how to get from office to HQ. Lots of walking, lots of info, and when I decided to go to sleep at 11.30 yesterday, I was out like a lamp. I had a bit of tieme to slack off a bit, but it made me feel uncomfortable, since blogging and nano-ing look to be forbidden at work. In between though, I had some fun times researching on the events that I was suppose to cover with Bee San. They also believe in working fast; I’m to be on my own on Friday/Saturday already for two events. AIEP!

Second day is still in progress. However, have already typed up the article for yesterday’s event, and am just waiting for the approval for my editor. Am using writely of course, just in case I need to make adjustments… I prefer it over MS Word, especially since I don’t use all the features of MS word anyway. WHEE!

How NOT to throw a bowling ball. XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFUNJPYaOCk

Cut for those who can’t read too long.
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