Pregnant but being beaten

May 23, 2007

According to this Malay article, one should stay with one’s husband even though he beats her up because his friends have egged him on. (Summary here)

She’s been married for 5 months, pregnant for three. Their life is middle-class. Husband’s friends are apparently jealous of their happiness, and so have urged the husband to leave her by making her look bad. Her husband has taken to fits of anger, beating her till she’s blue and black, not to mention insulting her with coarse words.

She’s staying him because of her unborn child, and asks Dang Setia (sort of like an Agony Aunt, I think) and what does the woman counsel?

When a husband can be enflamed by his friends to be violent to you even though you’re pregnant, I think that he may not be able to handle the stress of married life. *Insert content here about how married life may not be as simple as it looks because couples discover more about each other after marriage and the disillusionment of it all*

She then continues to say (and this is the part that horrifies me the most),With that in mind, I want you to be patient and don’t be too implusive, even though he’s doing mistakes and behaving inappropriately towards you. Instead, I want you to give him time for him to recognise that you’re a real person and not just a piece of glass as his friends have mentioned.”

…. Am I the only one who feels like she’s about to throw up??? THE WOMAN IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! She’s pregnant, being beaten up, and you tell her to suck it and take it?

No wonder most people consider Malay papers to be trash. The saddest part of all? People would be inclined to think that it’s ok to give the husband time and to let him beat the woman up, because after all, he’s doing it because he doesn’t know her that well. THEN HOW THE HECK DID THEY END UP GETTING MARRIED?

No wonder most people in this country take abuse. We apparently don’t see it as one because the other side doesn’t know it.

One Response to “Pregnant but being beaten”

  1. Hmmm… I wonder…

    How did these friends end up turning this guy against his wife? Is he so gullible? Is it an arranged marriage? If these friends are supposedly “jealous”, could it mean something more than mere spite? Like (worst case scenario) are they all adolescent experimenting gays? (Believe me, I know my fair share from friends I made in my old high school dorm. It’s a soap opera in there)

    Either way, I agree that the lady should get out of there. Abusive relationships are never healthy but that doesn’t mean they’re not redeemable. Call me idealistic but I pray everything works out.

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