Husband Material?

July 17, 2007

Someone asked me today what I thought a person who’s husband material would be like? This would make a good blog post, I though, and so here I am.

Thing is, when you think about it carefully, it’s not just husband, it’s your partner. Calling them either husband or wife seems to invite one to make assumptions, which is something I want to avoid as I would definately fail at being the perfect wife I want my husband to be. And yes, I realise that that does not make that much sense. Pardon the grammar.

Ok, first things first.

Understanding:
Both spouses must be attuned to each other. One has to be able to gauge the other person’s mood without thinking, and thereby be able to understand that mood; what that person wants/doesn’t want, etc. They have to be able to offer support and counsel (the latter if needed) to their spouses. This is one of the three main ingredients a spouse must have!

Trust:
I cannot begin to stress how important it is for a person to trust their spouse. Without trust, there is only lies, and when lies end, so does the dream. So does the love. So does the relationship. Second of the three ingredients.

Love:
Tenderness. Holding each other close during the night. Kissing each other when you think no one’s looking. Those are the physical aspects. Doing things for the other that you would never do, just to see the smile on their faces. Making or doing things just to get a certain reaction from them. Doing all you can to protect them. Willing to sacrifice things you have loved most of your life for them, because they asked you. Dropping everything you have so they can pursue their dreams. Pursuing YOUR own dreams at their urging. Realising that the two of you need time apart because you’re suffocating each other… and being perfectly fine with that.

And to top it all off:

Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the mornin and the tears are pouring
And I want make it worth the fight
Gwen Stefani, 4 in the morning

Staying up till you come to a compromise about the things you love, because you’re no longer living for one person, you’re living for TWO. Or more if you have kids.

So yes, that’s spousal material for me. What’s yours?

PS: It goes without saying that if they loved you, they would also help you do the chores… or even make you get off your butt to do the chores.πŸ˜›

4 Responses to “Husband Material?”

  1. Mark Ong said

    In that case.. I have nothing to worry about. Thanx geminianeyes. ^^

    Geminianeyes: Edited for name.πŸ˜› That said, you were the reason for the blog post, after all.πŸ˜„

  2. Raz said

    More like do the chores together.πŸ˜€

    Geminianeyes: :p

  3. Tiara said

    One has to be able to gauge the other person’s mood without thinking

    No one can do that. No one is a mindreader. Sure, you do get to the point where you can intuitively understand each other. However, misunderstandings do occur. The idea isn’t to always be able to read their moods without help; it’s to be willing to ask what is up, to put aside your judgement and preconceptions to hear your partner out, and to not assume anything.

    Geminianeyes: I should have been more clear. I meant that one is able to guess what the other person’s mood is without the guesser consciously thinking about it. I never said that you had to be correct about it.πŸ˜› This kind of familiarity normally comes when one has been living with the other for a long time. You do have an understanding, you can ask them what’s wrong… I never said that there was anything wrong with that.

  4. Lord Zhilbar said

    I must say, I agree with Tiara. You may achieve a certain level of understanding with your partner, but there are dense times and there are silly times and there are times when you just plain clash.. Not to mention there are times when just because you know what someone’s feeling, you don’t have a clue as to why.

    I FIRMLY agree with the trust aspect, it’s absolutely vital in any relationship! Still, there’s a derivation of that which I think is another point that should really be brought up, and that’s Respect. Comes from but not the same as trust, it’s absolutely vital.

    And yes, love is the key to it all. It’s the difference between a friend and a partner, no?

    Geminianeyes: Ah, I thought I was missing something. I kind of forgot to mention that bit. Respect comes with Understanding though, IMHO. For me, respect comes automatically when trust and understanding is there. Love is separate from Respect; it is possible to love someone without respecting them (think parents when treating their kids). But yes… Respect + Trust= VERY IMPORTANT!

    Also, correct spelling. :p

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