July 17, 2007
Someone asked me today what I thought a person who’s husband material would be like? This would make a good blog post, I though, and so here I am.
Thing is, when you think about it carefully, it’s not just husband, it’s your partner. Calling them either husband or wife seems to invite one to make assumptions, which is something I want to avoid as I would definately fail at being the perfect wife I want my husband to be. And yes, I realise that that does not make that much sense. Pardon the grammar.
Ok, first things first.
Both spouses must be attuned to each other. One has to be able to gauge the other person’s mood without thinking, and thereby be able to understand that mood; what that person wants/doesn’t want, etc. They have to be able to offer support and counsel (the latter if needed) to their spouses. This is one of the three main ingredients a spouse must have!
I cannot begin to stress how important it is for a person to trust their spouse. Without trust, there is only lies, and when lies end, so does the dream. So does the love. So does the relationship. Second of the three ingredients.
Tenderness. Holding each other close during the night. Kissing each other when you think no one’s looking. Those are the physical aspects. Doing things for the other that you would never do, just to see the smile on their faces. Making or doing things just to get a certain reaction from them. Doing all you can to protect them. Willing to sacrifice things you have loved most of your life for them, because they asked you. Dropping everything you have so they can pursue their dreams. Pursuing YOUR own dreams at their urging. Realising that the two of you need time apart because you’re suffocating each other… and being perfectly fine with that.
And to top it all off:
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the mornin and the tears are pouring
And I want make it worth the fight
– Gwen Stefani, 4 in the morning
Staying up till you come to a compromise about the things you love, because you’re no longer living for one person, you’re living for TWO. Or more if you have kids.
So yes, that’s spousal material for me. What’s yours?
PS: It goes without saying that if they loved you, they would also help you do the chores… or even make you get off your butt to do the chores. 😛