Wordcounter for WordPress?

August 28, 2007

I’m looking at it right now above the edit box… and it does look like I’ve got a Word counter…

Ho Shit!

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Never knew…

August 21, 2007

Pengecut meant shrunken testicles. I always thought they meant coward. In any case though, I doubt these people have the balls to answer this blogger’s challenge this close to the elections. I doubt they’ll even take him up on the offer, but we can certainly expect more mud-slinging from them. The Government, I mean.

Ok, who’s got the popcorn?

Edit: Dewan Bahasa has two translations:

pengecut orang yg kecut hati; penakut: A fraidy cat!
pengecut penakut: someone you CAN’T depend on.

Public Announcement

July 14, 2007

Mom, Dad, yes Raz is my boyfriend. Yes he’s Chinese Malay. And yes. I love him.

/random message

Origins

July 12, 2007

Yes Pelfy, Ed, I got this idea from your blogs.

Broken Shield and Sword was born on 18 October 2005. That’s about two years ago.

Alright, she’s actually a few days older than that, but that was the day I made the official announcement on Ramblings that I would be moving to WordPress, and to Geminianeyes. Ramblings, on the other hand, was created in June 2003. I had finally decided to pick up a “Blog” after a few months of reading about this latest trend, that time unaware that my first attempt to keep a record of my life online (aka what a “blog” was all about then) was already being done by me on Writing.com. My very first online journal was created on 7 January 2002. Which feels like eons ago.

I remember wanting a place to express my opinions, a place to scream and shout, even if no one else knew that it existed. I remember getting a few comments from a guy whom I eventually lost touch, but who was a great help in those days. I remember starting writing one or two posts calling Najib an idiot, and being very afraid that I would be carted off to prison under the ISA for defaming a member of the Government (btw, I still hold Najib to be an idiot, but that’s my own personal opinion). So many memories…

Broken Sword and Shield, like Ramblings before this, began as a way for me to not only articulate my thoughts, but also to reach out to friends whenever I was cash-strapped (aka I couldn’t SMS or Call). Like some online journals, it also became a place for me to rediscover myself; to see the old me. Sometimes the changes are so drastic that it’s hard to believe that it’s me. Over time, Broken Sword and Shield became more than just a blog; it became a notebook.

It kept links on things that interested me. It became a place for me to write stories. It became a place for me to do what I loved most; write, no matter what the subject was. From time to time, I like playing with her layouts and such, but at the end of the day, what matters most is that she doesn’t distract from the most important thing; the contents that make Broken Shield and Sword what she is.

On a random note, while I chose the name Geminianeyes to represent myself, Broken Shield and Sword represents two of the three main characters in my stories; Kishan and Naoko. Originally I wanted to use this blog as a place to store their stories, written in a first person’s perspective, but that did not really happen. For those who want to know, Naoko is the Broken Shield, while Kishan is the Broken Sword. Or vice versa. It depends on Sukina’s whims actually.

I have two main blogs currently; MistressNaoko at Livejournal and this one. MistressNaoko was originally started as a story blog, and then grew into an RP blog. It is still maintained as a Role-Playing blog in certain aspects, but it’s now grown into a random “Keep tabs on Friends’ Journals” as the majority of them are on LiveJournal. I once had 11 journals in LJ, mainly due to roleplaying. Now I only have two there: Buku Contengan and MistressNaoko. Geminianeyes and Broken Shield and Sword remain my primary blog.

And yes, I’m switching her to her new hosting soon. Hopefully. XD

Original post here. Please note that Yvonne is posting as a friend to a friend. If you have any suggestions, please direct them to Yvonne, not me. Thank you.

I have a friend. Her name is Pei Lee. Like me, Pei Lee suffers from Neurofibromatosis Type II. I came to know her when my story was featured in Sin Chew Daily last year. Like me, Pei Lee is deaf in both ears and blind in an eye.

Except that Pei Lee is less fortunate. She comes from a poor background, with limited education. At age 28, Pei Lee is fluent in Chinese and speaks some Malay. Her last known job involved selling kuih in the wet market.

Two weeks ago, Pei Lee texted me saying the tumor in her cervical spine is acting up, making her legs numb. I advised her to borrow her MRI scans and medical report from the Kuala Lumpur General Hospital. She tried, but the doctor refused. According to Pei Lee, the doctor simply wrote her a letter which I have not personally read.

Pei Lee wish to consult a neurosurgeon at private hospitals. Both of us have experienced removing spinal tumors in GHKL. We are aware of the poor quality of healthcare, especially those involving spinal surgeries.

This morning, I sent an email to someone who supported my cause not long ago. From our emails, I recognised him as a spine surgeon. The Heart4Hope products he bought online were mailed to the hospital. His reply came later in the afternoon. The kind man turned out an Orthopediatrician and spinal cord injury expert, but not tumors. He recommended me to a good friend, who is a neurosurgeon at another hospital, who may be able to help Pei Lee.

I wish to help Pei Lee save her spine, but then I came to another problem. How could she afford the treatments? Last week, Pei Lee asked if I could help her write an article to the press to request for donations. She can’t even afford the consultation fees. But I told Pei Lee the press does not work that way. They only help when your case has been ascertained, and a surgeon has decided to operate on you.

I’ve been thinking about her these days. RM60 (presumably) per consultation may sound like a small amount. RM1,000++ for a spine MRI is probably peanuts for some people. Yet I’m so baffled. How do I help Pei Lee?

Youthful Endavours!

July 6, 2007

Ti’s got a great blog carnival going on. The relevant entry is here.

That said, the youth initiatives she mentioned can be anything, as long as it’s related to youths and it’s not the personal blog entries kind. I mean the kind that goes “I bought these pair of earrings to show off how pretty I am.” (Sorry girls/guys/inbetweens). We’re talking about causes you’re passionate about, things you do, or things you know. Among the people I can think off the bat who regularly fit into this category be Pelfy, Yvonne, Nick, Phil, Uncle Sam… yes, even Silencers and the infamous DMJewelle as well. What do they all have in common? They’ve all been involved in Youth Initiatives (I would include Emilie too, but I forgot her blog add, sorry dear!). Of course, it goes without saying that Ti’s also one of the first people that come to mind.

What do these people have in common besides the fact that they’re young?

They all blog unashamedly about their passions. Pelfy loves turtles and doing charity. Yvonne is insistent on not being a charity, but rather raising her funds on her own without relying solely on donations. Nick blogs about various things the Oral Stage does (which is closed till next year btw), while Phil blogs about the entertainment industry, with a particular emphasis on young stars. Uncle Sam (when he remembers, which doesn’t happen often, hence the name Uncle) posts about his adventures handling a church Youth group. Silencers? Day to day life, random youthful observations, and one of my favourites, Anime! The same goes for DMJ too, though DMJ normally does movie reviews on the link I passed you. She’s sarcastic, witty and often VERY insightful. Of course, her wit is best experienced live.

She’s part of a community that I joined less than two years ago. One thing I’ve noticed about the community is that its users can be categorised into two categories; the people who are very sarcastic, witty and skeptical, and the ones who aren’t. The ones who are skeptical I notice, tend to be those who’ve been working for some time and can’t really afford to spend time in day dreams, but maybe that’s just my generalisation. People often equate youths with enthusiasm, with resilience, with this unshakable faith in either themselves, or something bigger than them (aka hope). These youths are nothing like that.

But not to digress, and the above is another topic for another day…

Youth initiatives may not be restricted activist activities. Activist, for me at least, means causes that are worth supporting no matter the age, and are generally dedicated to passions and causes that have this very heavy air about them. The consequences of such activities, in my opinion, is that society is generally changed, whether for better or worse, it depends. Basically, these are activities that may have political repercussions. Gender issues, disabilities, alternative education, all these for me are considered heavy issues, and to tell the truth, they are.

But heavy issues shouldn’t be what defines youth initiatives. A lot of elders and youths need to look beyond the heavy issues and check out other activities created and run by youths, like GACC and ComicFiesta. Yes, I realise that these two are anime conventions, but here’s something to think about, they’re created by youths, initiated by youths who have a dream and run by youths. The same could be said of most activities being organised by youths today. Some choose to deride these activities because they don’t bring any obvious benefits, but should we dismiss them just because the benefits are not visible?

There’s more to life than just creating a society and world for the better. Sometimes you have to stop and look back at what’s there, physically. Look into the sky and see the blueness of it. Take a moment and stand under an old flowering tree, and watch the flowers fall around you (yes, you can get these experiences in Malaysia, just that old trees that have not been cut down are hard to find). Sit in the LRT and talk to the people around you. Start a project with your friends with a completely useless aim, maybe like putting a cosplay photoshoot somewhere in KLCC. Stop and help that old person across the street.

Sigh…

June 29, 2007

Internet Drama is interesting, but not when there are too many rumours flying around and you don’t know who quite to trust.

An acquaintance known for being very straight and in your face, is accusing a close friend of being a rumour mill. Thing is, I know the rumour mill, and I can see why someone might think of him that way.

Ah well, one’s a rumour mill and the other’s a drama queen. NOW, TO PREPARE FOR SINGAPORE~~~

Anyone know where I can get the bottom?
Read the rest of this entry »

Losing sight

May 9, 2007

I hate my writing now.

Between what I wrote then and what I’m writing now, I hate my current writing. I’ve known that they are bad, but I couldn’t quite find someone to tell it straight to my face till today. And it really hit me.

I went back through my old blog entries. I went hunting for entries that were a few years old, entries that I wrote when I was in college. I skimmed through them, and the emotions that I felt while writing them came back. I remember sitting in the college library, writing the entries when I was still with Blogger, I remember what it feels like to simply let the words flow.

Much like now.

I’ll admit. I crave acknowledgement, I crave recognition. I crave people to notice me. Yet… this influenced my writing. Because if I wrote something that people don’t like, I might… I might feel uncomfortable with the attention. I’m worried that the online life I have now, will come back to touch my offline life in a way that cause my parents distress. And yes, I mean the word distress. I don’t want my parents to worry about me, they have enough to worry about. We’ve talked about me keeping a blog before (which ended in tears and involved me listening to my mother freely admitting that she was worried that by doing so, I might be caught and kept under the ISA). This is the main reason why I don’t give out my blog to my family members. If they can find me, then so be it.

I’ve been writing for an audience, and it shows. My writing, which used to be for myself, is no longer so. I no longer write because I want to, I write because I feel that I’m forced to. And it really shows. My writing for my old company was crap. I hated how it all sounded, but I wrote it anyway, because it was something that I had to do. Don’t get me wrong. I love writing the articles, but I hated how they all came out sounding. The only reason I kept reading them was because I was reading to myself.

In a lot of ways, it reminds me of the time when I found one of my old exercise books with a story I wrote in primary school. I hated my grammar, but when I read it again it feels right. The story was there. The characterisations were there. EVERYTHING was there except the really horrible grammar. I enjoyed writing then, and it showed.

So I grew up and my writing has suffered. Part of it has also have to be because I roleplayed my characters, a job which I botched up, I believe. Thing is, looking on it now, I realise that I’ve been trying to put them into boxes. Stereotyping without realising that I am doing so. No wonder it’s been so hard for me to write. I’ve forgotten how it feels to rant. How it feels to just let everything out. To just enjoy the flow of words. To listen to the sound of the keyboard, to simply write.

I missed that.

Geminianeyes.

I chose this name, for this blog, because it represented who I was.

I’m a Gemini, and I wear spectacles. It’s sort of a symbolic meaning saying “Double Vision.” No, I’m not talking about the production company. It’s because I like to see two sides to an argument. To empathise with both involved parties. To see things merely beyond the surface.

That used to be one of my gifts. Used to be one of my specialities. That of stringing random facts together to create an interesting whole. Or at least a picture that would make you think.

What do I fear?

Losing my job because of my blog. Losing my passion for writing, for playing with words, for being a wordsmith.

What drives me?

Passion. I love what I’m doing, love this unspeakable release that just feels so good when you’ve written something you can be proud of. Is it a high? Not really. Is it a sense of fulfilment? Maybe. Is it better than sex?

It’s less messier.

Never forget this.

Love
Me.

Morning person

April 19, 2007

Once I’m up, I’m up. Once I’ve had my coffee, I’m awake and feeling productive. Once I’m hyper… ^_^

In honour of those who died in the Virginia Tech massacre:

One Day Blog Silence

Lost lives of the young is the most painful of all, for a life yet unlived, unexplored, undone.

Love
Naoko

Testing post slug

April 10, 2007

Will delete in a bit.