August 28, 2007


I can see why the son would not want to listen to his mother. I had the same argument with my parents before this, and what really pisses me off is that the parents (or is it just the mother) did not even give the girl a chance to understand their religion before simply brushing her off. You claim to serve God, but I don’t see any serving of God. What I do see are servings of hypocrisy.

Congratulations, Angry Mum. You’re a proof of the Malay saying, “Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat.” Better for the child to die than the tradition.

And people wonder why I’m disillusioned with the Church and the people that inhabit her in general.


Golden rule

August 9, 2007

There is a Golden Rule which I have broken, which explains why my father feels so strongly about me and Raz. I’d forgotten all about this rule, which is something that is done subtly and shoved down the throats of Catholic children in Malaysia.

“You can marry a Buddhist or a Hindu, because they will convert, but you can NEVER Marry a Malay, because then YOU will have to convert, and God (read: Family) will never forgive you for abandoning them.”

I’d forgotten all about it till one of my closest friends reminded me. I hate religious politics.

Keep on smiling

August 8, 2007

I’m not giving him up. Not without a fight.

I’ve told my parents that I would break up with Raz if they objected, and my father has objected. Nothing, he said, would change his mind. Well, I’m going to try to change it.

Perhaps I’ll be going to hell for giving my parents grief. My father asked how I could even think of living with a man who doesn’t believe in the same God as I do. I should have told him: The same way you can do all the things you do and still have the gall to go to Church every Sunday. Apparently as long as you believe in God and follow a religion, you’re principled.

I’m not going to give Raz up without a fight. We shall see how this go. Anyone got a place for me to crash for a few days from Sunday? I’ll do my own laundry and stuff.

The person I’ll be hurting most is my mom and my grandmother. Sigh…

Does anyone wonder now why I hate religion, and especially those that try to impose RELIGIOUS rules on this country?

Edit: Oh, and a reason not to have a child:

Louis MacNeice- Prayer before Birth

I am not yet born; O hear me.
Let not the bloodsucking bat or the rat or the stoat or the
     club-footed ghoul come near me.

I am not yet born, console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me,
     with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me,
        on black racks rack me, in blood-baths roll me.

I am not yet born; provide me
With water to dandle me, grass to grow for me, trees to talk
     to me, sky to sing to me, birds and a white light
        in the back of my mind to guide me.

I am not yet born; forgive me
For the sins that in me the world shall commit, my words
     when they speak me, my thoughts when they think me,
        my treason engendered by traitors beyond me,
           my life when they murder by means of my
              hands, my death when they live me.

I am not yet born; rehearse me
In the parts I must play and the cues I must take when
     old men lecture me, bureaucrats hector me, mountains
        frown at me, lovers laugh at me, the white
            waves call me to folly and the desert calls
              me to doom and the beggar refuses
                 my gift and my children curse me.

I am not yet born; O hear me,
Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God
     come near me.

I am not yet born; O fill me
With strength against those who would freeze my
     humanity, would dragoon me into a lethal automaton,
        would make me a cog in a machine, a thing with
           one face, a thing, and against all those
              who would dissipate my entirety, would
                 blow me like thistledown hither and
                    thither or hither and thither
                       like water held in the
                          hands would spill me.

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.
Otherwise kill me.

I am stupid

August 8, 2007

I should have held my tongue. But I couldn’t.

Parents know now what Raz is. And as expected… To them, the fact that I’m dating a Muslim means that they have failed as parents. Add my family history of Muslim uncles, and yes… I’ve been given a very long lecture. My parents want me to break off with him… and my mom wants me to find a Catholic boy… When they’ve already broken my heart twice? And another was a Christian?

I should have held my tongue, but I couldn’t, because my father was making assumptions about Raz that weren’t true. I should have been smarter, but I was stupid. The Penang trip falls into insignificance because of this, actually. He’s said that he will never give his approval. For the first time today, he told me about how hurt my grandparents were when my uncles married Muslims. He said that he was sad. My mom thinks I’m pregnant, but I’m having my period, so how can I be? -_-“


Parents think that Raz’s parents will take their grandkids away (my children) if anything happens to Raz, and that they’ll never see their grandkids again

They think I’m stupid for being with a Muslim, and that moving away overseas is just a dream

If I did, I would be selfish for doing so, for leaving them behind

Apparently going abroad to further myself is ok, but leaving them behind and taking my kids with them is selfish

No religion = person useless, no principles

If I have kids with Raz, my father doesn’t ever want to see them (this I can live with). According to him, he’s more cruel than his parents… wouldn’t that make me, his daughter, even more cruel for putting him and my mom through this?


I ish stupid and have no sense of timing.

Islam musings

July 16, 2007

There is a postcard on Post Secrets that is very true for me. Despite everything, I still love and respect my mother, even though we clash far too often.

There there are other women whom I admire, who are partially the reason why I get up in the morning and am proud to say that I’m a woman. They are part of the reason why I NEVER regretted being a woman. More importantly, they debunk the myth that women are merely fillers to men; they prove that not only can they stand equal to men, but that they are their own people, their own identity.

One of them is this courageous soul. I remember being outraged by the case when I was in college, and my joy that the woman, Amina, was acquitted. What I didn’t know was that she had been defended by another woman. In places where the Syariah court rules, it’s not very often that a woman is defended by another woman and she’s acquitted. But this perception also outlines another problem in Muslim-led, Syariah-based countries; that they are only allowed to defend themselves by men. This leads to most people accusing the Syariah court of gender bias, especially when it comes to cases that pits a woman’s word against a man. A man is considered to be superior to a woman, and she gets left by the roadside. Case in point? Hauwa Ibrahim, Nigeria’s first female lawyer who defended Amina successfully, still had to get a man to be her mouthpiece. Is there a problem speaking to women directly, judges?

There are many who say that this is because a man’s responsibility is greater than a woman’s, therefore it is only fitting that they should be given more responsibility. I don’t have an issue with that. If the laws of your religion say that, that’s fine with me. What I DO have a problem with is the interpretation and twisting of the law that does not allow recourse to the women. What I do have a problem with is the decision to take the law literally, rather than the spirit of it, which would enable more women to seek recourse in the Syariah courts rather than choosing to abandon Islam. What I have an issue with is the many times a woman gets sidelined because she’s not a Muslim. She gets sidelined because she’s a woman, although Muslim.

Is this unfair?

Is this in the Spirit of Islam, the so-called Great Belief? (bear in mind that I’m speaking from the perspective of a non-believer)

I may not believe in Islam per se (I have a distaste right now for most organised religions) but I believe it outlines the basic principles of living well in this day and age, no matter your religion. According to one translation of the infamous “Four men must testify to the rape,” I would like to ask a simple question:

Are we talking literally, four men have to be there to watch the girl being raped? Or is it that they are character witnesses who are there to defend the young woman?

I’m not bashing Islam, far from it. I just want a greater understanding of it. I live in this country too, remember?

Lina Joy lost her appeal in the civil courts case. Of course, we all know that there are certain idiots people who are rejoicing. Edit: I changed it from idiots because I got a nice surprise from one of them. Treating her with care and compassion is certainly more than what I would have expected from some Muslims opposed to her religious change, especially a so-called PR 5 blogger (or was it 6? can’t be bothered, really, and yes I am being a bit petty about it).

Thanks for renewing my faith in Muslims.

What’s interesting (for me at least) to note is that she’s lost in the CIVIL Courts. I know that she doesn’t want to go to the Syariah, but I would like to point out something: Since this is a religious matter, and she DID come out from Islam, common sense would dictate that she go there to remove her status shouldn’t it?

Of course, Malaysian common sense would also say that she would be thrown into prison immediately. For wanting to leave a religion that she does not believe in anymore.

In Malaysia, say goodbye to your personal and religious rights once you become a Muslim. Gods… I think if I want to marry Anata, I might as well leave this country. I love you Malaysia, but I don’t love the idiots in you.

There is hope?

May 14, 2007

Times like these, it really makes you wonder who are the idiots. Congratulations PAS, I for one am waiting for the day we can debate our religions in a peaceful manner and resolve to make it so that people of many religions can live in this country without fear of being hunted down and made fun of simply because we choose a different religion.

To those sexist MPs, congratulations. You have just managed to make Malaysia a laughing stock… AGAIN. I suppose it doesn’t matter much to you because you can go around with a happy smiling face because you delivered a low blow to the opposition. Then again, it just proves that you will do anything to retain your grip on power and ignorance. After all, money insulates, doesn’t it?

To Nazri: “This is a debate. People play with words,” he said. “As long as there is no ill intention, we should allow for it. Otherwise parliament will be very boring.”

I’d settle for boredom if it means that our Parliamentarians will be INTELLIGENT. Admit your failings, why don’t you? To think I used to look up to you, but I suppose one disgruntled voter means nothing to you, does it?

You’re getting as bad as Najib.

Enough silence!

April 25, 2007

Inspired partially by a comment someone left on another blog but mainly enflamed by this: Video that half Malaysia saw and the other half forgot, I think.

Mob rule wins. Violence is the way to go, especially since it means that the authorities will do *anything* (supposedly) to avoid another bloodshed. That protest against Article 11 by the cowards who refuse to let non-Muslims talk about the role of their (non-Muslim) religions in this country? Cowardice and an excuse by the Government to sweep things under the carpet.

May 13 has been hanging over our heads for long enough. Pandering to the fears of the minorities has GOT to stop. Pandering to the whims of a political party that values wealth over its citizens has got to stop. Pandering to the notion of the illusion that a theocratic state can rule under the guise of secularity has GOT to stop.

I’m not saying that if we talk about this issue it will go away. Talking in the media has done nothing but to make everyone feel good for a bit and then conveniently sweep the issue under the carpet.

The only way I think to change this shameful state is to SHAME those in public office in the first place. Shame them and take away their jobs. Make them beg for a living. Make them LIVE in the system instead of above it. Make them **cking wake up to the fact that they ARE accountable to the people who elected them!

Unfortunately until that happens, cases like these will keep happening. Malaysia’s already a laughing stock, but until she becomes a laughing stock in the economic sense, no one in power will care as long as the $$ keeps coming in.

This culture of fear is nothing but that, fear. People are afraid that if we even try to discuss what is happening to this country, people will wake up and see that not all hope is lost. They will wake up to see that there is more in common to each religion than simply the fact that we all believe in God; that this is the same God who says, “Love one another.” The same God who said to one particular religion: THERE IS NO COMPLUSION. The same God who appears different to each eyes because the way we view Him/Her is clouded by OUR PERSONAL experience.

The same God whom most of us believe in regardless of how our religion, how the people who interpret the religious books, how TRADITION AND CULTURE has portrayed him to be, is just that. THE SAME GOD.

How I view my God should be no one else’s business but mine and His/Hers. My relationship with Him/Her is between the TWO OF US. Yes, religion does help us draw closer to God, but what is religion merely than someone’s view and understanding of God? How God comes to us, how we choose to see God, what (and I suspect this is the most important bit of all) God is to us, is between us and the Divine above.

You know what’s the sickest bit about this all?

That these people forget their COMPASSION in the midst of upholding their RELIGION which is supposedly to be more compassionate than all other religions by TAKING AWAY A CHILD THAT WAS STILL BEING BREAST FED FORCEFULLY FROM HER MOTHER.

Muslims who do this are not Muslims. They’re the real KUFARs. They are the ones who are Satan’s puppets, not those who try to understand and be compassionate to those who really need it, regardless of religion.

Yes I am bitter about this why do you ask?

Wake up call

April 16, 2007

That title is a pun on three accounts simply because:

1. The blogger who always wakes me up by portraying himself as holier than thou has done it again

2. The subject matter IS about the morning azan call

3. It’s a wake up call to reality that bigots who insist on their way are getting dangerously loud in Malaysia

What’s happened is that he’s complaining about DAP asking the azan to be lowered a little because it could disturb the sleep of children and those working in shifts. Now while the Muslims have a right to the azan, it could also be said that Christians also have the right to call their people to Mass by using the church bell. However, the Church bell has been silenced in recent years.

If, as you say, Islam is truly a moderate religion, why can’t we have our Church bells ringing as loud as yours?

Oh yes, it’s because WE’RE NOT MUSLIMS, and we’re Kafirs who should be treated as less than second citizens because we do not subscribe to your brand of belief that anyone who is not Muslim DESERVES to be treated like second-class citizens. And that anyone who does not follow you, follows the devil because there is no room in Islam to question the religious practices.

Oh, and taking potshots at Christianity? Just like a hypocrite who wants to blame others for his problems and refusing to look within himself and his own religion to see what the rot is and what he can do about it.

This is interesting…

October 24, 2006

I’m beginning to really love the Stumble Upon extension for Firefox, which basically pulls up random pages you might miss when you’re surfing the web. One example, is this.