Lazy **shole

August 28, 2007

Yes, am referring to my dad. God knows where he is, but if the rice’s not cooked by the time he gets home he throws a fit. Yet when he’s home but heading out, and my mom and I are not around to do so, he tells me that we’ll (mom and I) should just cook the rice when we get home. AKA He’s not going to cook the rice even though he’s at home and he can do it.

“It only takes 10 minutes what. You and mom also still got to bath, cook some more.”

Then again, I’m talking about the same guy who will wait till one of his kids are at home before tossing everything into the sink and tell them to wash everything in the sink before he goes out.

And people wonder why I can’t stand my father. The hypocritical asshole.


Brief update

August 21, 2007

I’ll do a Yuhi and update this in point form:

– Last one week at the office was pretty light. After Wednesday at least. Took MC off one day cause I was too tired; it’s been nearly one month since I had a proper weekend where I did nothing but sleep 75% of the time. Outings drain me after a while.

– Comiworld. It was quite ok, had lots of fun, am annoyed at some people (especially their conduct). Will need to talk to them privately, though to the one who said that he could not contact me because he did not have my number, you not only phail, but it’s a very sad excuse. It’s safe to say that it’s ridiculously easy for you to get it, as nearly everyone around you has my number. If you don’t want to shoulder the responsibility, then be a man and own up to it. Your irresponsibility makes me want to quit in disgust.

– Lacry stayed over for two nights, Sky for one. It’s fun!! Finally, someone whom I can rant to about Singapore customer service! XD Skypegasus’ so much fun to pet! I’m serious! She’s cute and pettable… like a puppy? *Hides from Sky*

– Dinner at McD (not the original dinner I wanted, but because of the rain, it’ll do) with some friends whom I haven’t seen in a long time. It’s nice to get away from the anime talk and gossip once in a while and talk to friends who are delightfully sarcastic, have a good grip on life and are overall amusing. DMJ, if you read this, I have to introduce you to Kip. Ironically, he has been stabbed twice in the heart… and survived.

– Episode of “It-could-only-happen-to-Sam” coupled with a healthy dose of “Guys-don’t-ask-each-other-for-directions” syndrome. After all… how else can you get lost from TAMAN JAYA and wind up in PUCHONG?? If it were anywhere else in PJ I can understand… but PUCHONG? That and Sam, while gesturing to something else, managed to miss hitting someone’s nose with his hand by about… 2 millimetres? Honestly, it could only happen to Sam.

– Bought new notebook for writing in general stuff. Will need to mail things out later and get paper to make paper cranes.

– Coping. Surviving. That’s all I can do for now. And no, regardless of how I act, I have NOT forgiven my parents.

– Also, dealing with obvious questions amuse me. Just because you know a bit about it doesn’t give you the full rights to lambast them in public like that. Heck, even I know the Code Gay-ass Geass joke about Pizza Hut. And I don’t even watch the show! Then he failed on 3 points:

— He cannot tell the difference between booth girls and cosplayers. It’s kind of obvious that they’re not there as cosplayers if you see them handing out brochures about games now, isn’t it? My very first anime con was quite a few years ago, but even then I knew how to differentiate between booth girls and cosplayers.

— He cannot tell the difference between regular cosplayers and those hired by a company. The quality of the costumes gave them away… They’re NOT cosplayers because they’re dressed in fancy armour. -_-”

— Before you complain about the CF representative dressing up in a short skirt, try to figure out whether she was cosplaying in the first place. In any case though, if she wants to wear a short skirt, what’s wrong with that? You got something against girls who’ve better sense and legs than you?

Just because YOUR event was ok, doesn’t give you the right to diss others.

That was a nice rant.

Broken Again

August 13, 2007

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin’ over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we’re gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I’m safe
Don’t want to lose the love I’ve found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down
It’s not fair how you are
I can’t be complete, can you give me more?

– Gwen Stefani, 4 in the Morning

Back at home, decided not to head on to the place I was going to because I might as well fight my parents on my own turf. Yes, it’s a long road ahead, and a lonely one too, because of what I’ve promised them, but I’ll be damned if I let them take over my life like this again. My parents, before Sunday, have thrown me many labels, but talking to Zero made me realise that I’m not as bad as they made me out to be; if anything, I’m better than most because at the end of the day, I’m still here, in my parents’ home writing this entry with tears running down my face.

We broke up today. The last two days have been a dream outside a dream. It’s given me the strength to fight, to defy them… though it’s always easier to say this behind a computer screen than in front of them, when my mind goes blank because I can’t think fast enough, and there’s the threat of violence by my father. My biggest worry, which may seem like a small thing to most people, is that my father might actually hire someone to beat up Raz. Some people may say that I’m overreacting, but my father is just that insane.

Someone pointed out to me that my mother may be frustrated and disappointed and angry at losing her ‘obedient’ daughter, who’s had enough of her crap. She may well be feeling all those emotions because she’s lost control over me, and by losing control over me, she’s lost control of her life, as before this, she was always controlled by everyone else. That would fit in with Mom, actually. She’s a very simple person to figure out at heart, and unlike my father, she’s honest.

Dad, on the other hand, is a hypocritical bastard. According to him, it’s ok to be friends with other people, but not ok to fall in love with them. The reason for not being with a Malay is so that your children will escape the stigma of being a Muslim in this paranoid country. What I don’t get is, if you want me to take care of you when you’re older, then why don’t you just say so? Why do you have to beat around the bush and try to mindfuck me? You think guilt will make me obey?

When I was leaving Penang, I had this moment of terror, where I wanted to take off my seatbelt (came back via plane, AirAsia’s airbuses are nice but that’s another story) rush out the door and run outside to look for Raz and tell him not to let me go. We’ve decided to break up for now, but it’s hard. This was coming, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. The tears are pouring down my face, and if it weren’t for the fact that I do have work tomorrow, I would stay home and weep till I couldn’t anymore. As it is, I’ll end this with just a single request:

To parents, those who are going to be parents, as well as those who will raise children

Please, please please, I beg you! Let them choose their own lives. Let them choose who they want to be with. Don’t, please, I beg of you, let them go through what Raz and I are going through now. You’ll earn your children’s undying hatred for one, and you’ll be proving to the world just how small-minded and bigoted you are if you do so.

Thank you.

I am stupid

August 8, 2007

I should have held my tongue. But I couldn’t.

Parents know now what Raz is. And as expected… To them, the fact that I’m dating a Muslim means that they have failed as parents. Add my family history of Muslim uncles, and yes… I’ve been given a very long lecture. My parents want me to break off with him… and my mom wants me to find a Catholic boy… When they’ve already broken my heart twice? And another was a Christian?

I should have held my tongue, but I couldn’t, because my father was making assumptions about Raz that weren’t true. I should have been smarter, but I was stupid. The Penang trip falls into insignificance because of this, actually. He’s said that he will never give his approval. For the first time today, he told me about how hurt my grandparents were when my uncles married Muslims. He said that he was sad. My mom thinks I’m pregnant, but I’m having my period, so how can I be? -_-“


Parents think that Raz’s parents will take their grandkids away (my children) if anything happens to Raz, and that they’ll never see their grandkids again

They think I’m stupid for being with a Muslim, and that moving away overseas is just a dream

If I did, I would be selfish for doing so, for leaving them behind

Apparently going abroad to further myself is ok, but leaving them behind and taking my kids with them is selfish

No religion = person useless, no principles

If I have kids with Raz, my father doesn’t ever want to see them (this I can live with). According to him, he’s more cruel than his parents… wouldn’t that make me, his daughter, even more cruel for putting him and my mom through this?


I ish stupid and have no sense of timing.

One thing

August 7, 2007

To be annoyed about.

Told Mom my bus was on Friday to Penang. Her reply, “No. Told you you were banned from going to Penang.”

-_-” Right. I suppose that in her eyes, I must always be the child she used to be able to control. No longer. I told her I was still going.

I’m going to Penang this weekend whether they like it or not. My only worry is that when I get back, I might come home to find my clothes everywhere in the street and my computer locked away from me. Yes, I’m more worried about losing my computer than I am of my clothes.


May 8, 2007

*Kicks her connection*

It went to hell at 3am MONDAY morning. Came back sometime during last night. *Stares at the list of entries she has to read*



April 19, 2007

I hate websites that force me to type “www” to get to them instead of just the address. Is there a reason why I’m NOT using their services often?

Main culprits:

GWRAGH. /Random

Wake up call

April 16, 2007

That title is a pun on three accounts simply because:

1. The blogger who always wakes me up by portraying himself as holier than thou has done it again

2. The subject matter IS about the morning azan call

3. It’s a wake up call to reality that bigots who insist on their way are getting dangerously loud in Malaysia

What’s happened is that he’s complaining about DAP asking the azan to be lowered a little because it could disturb the sleep of children and those working in shifts. Now while the Muslims have a right to the azan, it could also be said that Christians also have the right to call their people to Mass by using the church bell. However, the Church bell has been silenced in recent years.

If, as you say, Islam is truly a moderate religion, why can’t we have our Church bells ringing as loud as yours?

Oh yes, it’s because WE’RE NOT MUSLIMS, and we’re Kafirs who should be treated as less than second citizens because we do not subscribe to your brand of belief that anyone who is not Muslim DESERVES to be treated like second-class citizens. And that anyone who does not follow you, follows the devil because there is no room in Islam to question the religious practices.

Oh, and taking potshots at Christianity? Just like a hypocrite who wants to blame others for his problems and refusing to look within himself and his own religion to see what the rot is and what he can do about it.

Lame, familiar excuse

April 6, 2007

I have yet to receive my pay from my previous company, and when I called the woman in charge up, she told me it was because the director in charge had not been in, so the cheque was not signed. It’s a lame excuse, and it irritates me because I’ve heard it before when I was working in customer service, and it can mean anything from “We truly forgot to submit it to the director before this” to “We didn’t get it to the director in time.”

The last time that happened, I remembered it sent constant emails and phone calls from the customer service hotliners to the said director’s office till it got signed. That took only 3 days… MAX. This is two weeks.

I supposed because I’m not a customer, it doesn’t matter.


February 3, 2007


Then again, unlike my old job, I can see myself doing this for quite a long time…